


(illicit) habits

by savagesun



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi Keiji & Kozume Kenma Friendship, Kozume Kenma is Bad at Feelings, Kozume Kenma is a Little Shit, M/M, Marijuana, POV Kozume Kenma, Texting, and talking about sex, brief akaken, brief bdsm talk, it's mainly kenma and akaashi getting high and laughing, oh loads of swearing too, they get high, they tease a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:27:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27899842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/savagesun/pseuds/savagesun
Summary: Kenma texts Akaashi, wanting a little bit of distraction of his useless feelings for Kuroo. They end up getting high, but Akaashi can read Kenma all too well and the night doesn't go as Kenma is expecting.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 30
Kudos: 174





	(illicit) habits

Kenma Kozume takes his phone.

* * *

**kenma**

keiji

are you up?

* * *

**keiji**

Yes.

* * *

**kenma**

wrong question

are you busy?

* * *

**keiji**

I should be, but I can’t really focus.

What is it?

* * *

**kenma**

good because i can’t really focus either

i just wanted uh

to talk?

* * *

**keiji**

That’s new.

Is Kuroo asleep?

* * *

**kenma**

idk

he’s kinda my problem, so…

* * *

**keiji**

Ah.

What did he do?

* * *

**kenma**

no, he didn’t do anything

it’s just

i don’t wanna talk abt him

* * *

**keiji**

Alright.

What is it you want to talk about?

* * *

**kenma**

sigh. i can’t with your perfect typing

you’re indeed a writer huh

what are u writing about

is it abt bokuto

and his flaws

and his muscular body

and his big tities

and also

* * *

**keiji**

Shut up.

I don’t do that.

* * *

**kenma**

…anymore?

* * *

**keiji**

You’re a bastard little shit, you know that?

* * *

**kenma**

no

* * *

**keiji**

Yes, you are.

* * *

**kenma**

but bokuto-

* * *

**keiji**

What do you want with him?

* * *

**kenma**

are you jealous?

* * *

**keiji**

No.

I know you’re too into that big dipshit of a guy.

* * *

**kenma**

you give ppl cute nicknames

that’s cute, keiji.

* * *

**keiji**

It’s just you two, to be honest.

You’re a pain in the ass.

* * *

**kenma**

now you hurt my feelings ...no💔

* * *

**keiji**

I can’t stand you, Kenma.

* * *

**kenma**

yes we have a lot in common

* * *

**keiji**

🙄

You came here to talk to me or to annoy me?

* * *

**kenma**

why not both..

* * *

**keiji**

…

* * *

**kenma**

whatever. my nintendo died and i can’t sleep

so i started to wonder

* * *

**keiji**

Oh, I see.

* * *

**kenma**

what’s that supposed to mean.

* * *

**keiji**

Nothing.

Keep going.

* * *

**kenma**

have you ever smoked weed?

* * *

**keiji**

What kind of question is that?

* * *

**kenma**

i thought that i said i was wondering…

* * *

**keiji**

Why don’t you ask your boyfriend?

* * *

**kenma**

he’s not my boyfriend

and i told you i don’t wanna talk abt him.

have you?

* * *

**keiji**

Ask me correctly and I might answer.

* * *

**kenma**

Akaashi Keiji, would you please tell me if you have smoked weed?

* * *

**keiji**

No.

* * *

**kenma** ****

no, you haven’t, or no, you’re not gonna tell me?

* * *

**keiji**

I’m not going to tell you.

* * *

**kenma**

you said you might answer…

* * *

**keiji**

*Might*.

* * *

**kenma**

i hate you

* * *

**keiji**

It’s mutual.

* * *

**kenma**

guess i have to talk to ~bokuto-san~ then

* * *

**keiji**

He’s asleep.

* * *

**kenma**

i’ll wake him up

i can be very annoying

* * *

**keiji**

I can see that.

...

Yes, Kenma, I have. What about it?

* * *

**kenma**

...what

have you actually?

* * *

**keiji**

Bye.

* * *

**kenma**

NO

i believe you

it’s just not what i was expecting

* * *

**keiji**

There’s a lot you don’t know about me.

* * *

**kenma**

was that supposed to be mysterious because i laughed

* * *

**keiji**

…

Have you?

* * *

**kenma**

smoked weed?

no

i got curious that’s all

i’m not turning you in to anyone

* * *

**keiji**

I wasn’t worried about that.

* * *

**kenma**

are you implying i wouldn't do it?

because i would

* * *

**keiji**

Can you just let me type?

* * *

**kenma**

no

* * *

**keiji**

Kozume.

* * *

**kenma**

yes

* * *

**keiji**

Are you home?

* * *

**kenma**

yes

my roommate is away but you're very aware i hate him and i wasn't going to talk to him

why do you wanna know that

* * *

**keiji**

Can you send me your location?

* * *

**kenma**

what do you wanna do w me keiji

i swear to god i’ll call bokuto and tell him luigi died

* * *

**keiji**

Don’t you dare.

It’s a fish, Kenma.

* * *

**kenma**

ik, but he cares about my fishes

* * *

**keiji**

I hate you.

* * *

**kenma** ****

i hate you too

what do you want my location for?

* * *

**keiji**

Do you trust me?

Just send it.

* * *

**kenma**

ask nicely

* * *

**keiji**

Please, send it?

* * *

**kenma**

i want a heart emoji

* * *

**keiji**

Fuck you.

* * *

**kenma**

✨fuck you✨

* * *

**keiji**

…

* * *

**kenma**

fine

📍 Location

* * *

**keiji**

Did that hurt?

* * *

**kenma**

yes

* * *

**keiji**

Don’t sleep.

* * *

**kenma**

do you really know me

* * *

**keiji**

I wish I didn’t.

It’s just precaution.

* * *

**kenma**

yeah yeah

* * *

Kenma Kozume drops his phone on the pillow and sighs, rubbing his eyes.

His dark circles are a bit more dark than the day before, and around his golden irises there is a light shade of red. He’s never been one to either sleep or wake up early, since he always liked to play video games ever since he started reading. He liked the idea of solving mysteries, winning races and battles, defeating monsters and mostly to reach a goal; he still likes it, so much he loses track of time. That’s why his Nintendo is dead and charging up, and why he messaged Akaashi in a desperate, bored move.

He remembers the first time he’d seen Keiji Akaashi, in a gym and on the other side of a huge net. Kenma didn’t really care about him until they played a game, and saw how Akaashi’s brain and Fukurodani were a dangerous competition to his own and to Nekoma. They both understood how much alike they were, so they didn’t like each other at first; the quiet ones, the brains, the hearts of each team.

Aside from that, it was curious they had their own extroverted people too. That time, Bokuto and Kuroo could deny it as much as they wanted to, but they liked and made fun of each other for… well, fun. They fit, so it became impossible to avoid Kenma and Akaashi's imminent friendship too, which was odd in its own way.

It still is, to this day; even after Bokuto and Kuroo graduated, then started working, and after Kenma and Akaashi got into college. Kenma can't deny that Akaashi is one of his current friends, nor that he's glad he was able to grow closer to him. 

There was a day in which Nekoma lost a match to Fukurodani, and Kenma thought it was his fault. His team was counting on him, yet they lost. He thought he was supposed to be well resigned, that they played together as a team, but still, he couldn’t think it was all on him. Because of that, after the game, Kenma went to play on his DS and hide himself around from the outside world, but Akaashi found him and recognized the game he was playing was based on a book he’d read.

They started _talking_ , and Kenma felt comfortable with him from then on, to the point he started to acknowledge Akaashi as one of his best friends.

Not that he's willing to tell Akaashi that.

Kenma tries to shift his position and hisses at pain. As usual, his back is hurting, but right now so is his shoulder. He can feel it is very close from falling off his body. Inside of sweatpants and a big hoodie, he looks smaller than he is, with his hair tied in a low messy bun; there is a blank covering him whole, and he shrinks more when he starts to wonder again. He doesn't know what Akaashi is going to do, but somehow trusts him. That doesn't make him any less curious or anxious.

He should've talked to Kuroo, he thinks. Should've woken him up. But how can he distract himself from thinking about someone by talking to them? That's nowhere possible, of course. Bokuto might be asleep, just like everyone else he knows, except for Akaashi.

He never is, just like Kenma. He knows Akaashi is a night owl just like him. Though Kenma is because he’s into games, and Akaashi because he’s into words.

He wishes he could sleep. First semester of college is truly pissing him off.

It doesn't take long for Akaashi to knock on his door. He stands and rubs his eyes again, making his way down to the entrance.

“You took long,” Kenma mumbles instead, face blank and looking clear tired, pretending his own shoulder might not fall from his body at any given moment.

Akaashi doesn't reply. He walks in looking just as tired, but Kenma didn’t expect otherwise. While himself looks a mess in the deep meaning of the word, Akaashi is a natural beauty kind of mess; he doesn’t bother thinking his friend is beautiful, it’s just a simple fact. From his grey eyes that seem to change color depending on the light, to his soft hair, big hands, tall body and weird shirts. He always seems so relaxed, Kenma notes, although he knows that isn’t true at all.

The apartment is modest. It’s fit for two freshly new college students, and it’s clean due to Kenma’s brief obsession with it. He likes to be clean, so it’s no wonder he wishes the same to his current home.

It smells like lavender inside, but once Akaashi gets in and Kenma closes the door, he feels a soft fragrance of something sweet like chocolate. And of course, something sweeter than that. Something he knows very well what it is.

“You’re shitting me,” Kenma says, raising his eyebrows.

Akaashi is expecting that, because he says, “You said you got curious, and you seem to be needing it. You look like a mess.”

“And so do you.” He sighs, sitting on the couch’s arm, staring at Akaashi’s back once he sits on the floor and close to the small desk in the middle of the room. “So you need it too.”

Again, Akaashi doesn’t reply, but Kenma isn’t bothered. He doesn’t like to talk as well. However, this is his apartment and he feels the need to be a good host.

Silent, Kenma watches Akaashi take something out of his pocket: it’s both the weed and rolling papers.

“Where did you get it?” he asks, curious.

“A friend of mine,” Akaashi replies, putting the weed to one side and a paper on the other. He looks confused, as if he’s about to decipher a code, but says, “Are you sure you want to try it?”

He sighs, tired from talking, and sits on the floor. Crossing his legs, he looks at Akaashi beside him and nods. His shitty roommate is gone for the weekend anyway, and even if he wasn’t, Kenma wouldn’t mind bothering him—just like he didn’t bother waking Kenma up by destroying the kitchen in the morning and singing horribly out loud. Observing Akaashi with caution, Kenma wonders, “How many times have you done it?”

“A few.”

“I meant rolling a joint.”

“Ah.”

They look at each other, and Kenma raises his eyebrows to emphasize his question.

“This is my first time,” he grumbles, as if he’s embarrassed. “But I can do it, don’t worry.”

“Sure.”

Kenma wanted to say that as an encouragement, but by the look on Akaashi’s face, it didn’t come out as he intended. He shrugs and watches Akaashi doing it quietly, though serious and very concerned.

After a few failures, Kenma asks, “Are you sure you know how to do this?”

“I’ve seen people doing it, Kozume,” he scolds, sounding very impatient. “I said I can do it.”

“Okay.” He keeps watching, but as Akaashi keeps messing up, he says, “No, I read on the internet you have to pinch it, then press—”

“Why have you read this on the internet? You said you haven’t smoked.”

Kenma looks confused. “I like to know things.”

“Shut up,” he demands. “Just let me do it.”

“But you have to—”

“Kozume, I can do it.” The way he says it, slowly and irritated, makes Kenma shut up.

It takes a little more time for Akaashi to get it right, and thankfully he does it very well, for all Kenma has read.

“Well.” Akaashi stares at him.

“Well…?”

“We need to light it up, you idiot.”

“Oh, sorry.” He gets up and takes a matchbox from the kitchen, then gives it to Akaashi.

Sitting on the same spot, Kenma crosses his legs again, observing the way Akaashi calmly inhales the joint. He thinks he’s never seen Akaashi’s shoulders relax this way, and he’s pretty sure weed doesn’t work like that.

Once Akaashi rests his back on the sofa, Kenma takes the joint and looks at it with curiosity, smells it a little. Then, frowning, he repeats Akaashi’s movements, inhaling deeply. He feels the smoke on his lungs and the taste of the herb on his tongue, holds it for a few seconds, finding it weird yet funny, and he exhales as he’s done it a thousand times before.

It takes only one look from Akaashi for Kenma to start coughing. “Shit.”

“You were doing quite right,” he points out, raising his eyebrows and with eyes locked on Kenma. “Do it again.” Kenma does, and he says, “Good.”

They go on like this for a couple minutes. He’s almost sure Akaashi took only what was necessary for them both to feel good, calm, and for that he’s thankful.

Kenma exhales the smoke and passes the rest of the joint back to Akaashi, who is clearly thinking beyond and away from where they are. He doesn’t know how long it will take for the effects to show up and his back is hurting, so he lies down on the carpet, starts glaring up at the ceiling. He longs for the moment his thoughts are no longer focused on one person only and their stupid, handsome grin.

His relationship with Tetsurou Kuroo is complicated. They’re best friends, but they make out. They fuck sometimes. Not as much as Kenma wouldn’t have any doubts, so they can’t be boyfriends. Kuroo hasn’t also taken him on a date, not an actual one. They’ve never talked about it. It’s confusing, a bittersweet taste on his throat that never goes away. Kenma can’t stop thinking about it ever since he realized he wanted to talk to Kuroo and find out what’s going on.

He _never_ wants to talk about anything.

Closing his eyes, Kenma breathes slowly. He feels light-weighted and somehow relaxed, but all he thinks about is Kuroo and he’s mad at himself.

“What is bothering you?” Kenma asks suddenly, his voice deeper than usual. He’s clearly not the only one thinking; though with Akaashi it seems that his internal struggles are all over the room… right there but not quite, just like the air around them. “You seem quiet but I can hear you overthink.”

“I can hear you too, you know,” Akaashi mumbles and sighs. He waits a little before he continues, “You wouldn’t understand.”

“I’m not a child, Keiji.”

“You look like one.”

“Fuck you,” he murmurs, scowling. “Is it about Bokuto?”

Akaashi sighs again. “No, we’re fine. It’s about me. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay.” Kenma opens his eyes, looking up to the ceiling, shrinking and shivering a little due to the soft wind coming from the balcony. The silence is not comfortable anymore, so he frowns. Before he can stop, he says, “Can I ask you something?”

“Something…?”

“About…” he hesitates for a second, “relationships.”

Kenma thinks he’s hallucinating, because he hears a laugh and it’s not coming from him; it’s Akaashi. Akaashi is _laughing_ . Maybe he _is_ hallucinating, he remembers by the taste of weed on his mouth.

“Stop.” He tries to sound angry, he really does, but Kenma hears himself laughing back at him instead. “Fuck.”

“Oh, shit. I didn’t tell you this one hit hard, did I?”

“No?” It sounds like a question and Kenma is laughing again.

He’s never laughed this pure, and he already feels tired from it. He places a hand on his stomach and gradually stops along with Akaashi.

“Okay,” Akaashi says, a ghost of a smile on his voice. “Then ask.”

Kenma doesn’t think twice, as he’s afraid to not ask if he does. “How do you know Bokuto loves you?”

“He tells me every time we fuck.”

“Oh.” Kenma raises his chest and looks at Akaashi, who’s smirking. “Must be annoying.”

“It’s cute.”

“It’s clingy.”

“It’s cute, Kenma.”

They laugh again and Kenma rests on the floor. “Ew. I’m gonna tell him you said that.”

“No, you're not,” Akaashi says, unease yet joyful. “Why are you asking?”

He doesn’t answer that it’s because he worries he might be in love with Kuroo, and that Kuroo might not love him back. He says, giggling, “And how often do you fuck?”

Akaashi laughs out loud. “Are you trying something? For you, I can—”

“Shut up,” he says, trying to kick him and failing. “I’m just curious.”

“As shocking it may seem for you,” Akaashi replies, “this part of my life isn’t scheduled.”

They laugh. It feels so natural now.

“Why can’t I stop laughing?” Kenma asks, frustrated, but still laughing.

“Why do you wanna know that?” Akaashi shots back, his voice raspy. “Ugh, I miss him.”

Kenma groans, and tries his best to stop laughing again. He wipes the tears from his eyes and breathes, concentrating. “I don’t know. It’s because Kuro—wait. You’re not seeing him this weekend?”

“We were both busy,” he says, then snaps his tongue. “Clearly, I’m not anymore.”

He has no idea why this is _so funny_ , but Akaashi seems to find it funny too, so he doesn't stop.

“I need to drink something.” Kenma gets up, staggering around the room, and heads to the kitchen. He can't quite do anything as the world around him is hazy, so he's really proud of himself when he finds a full bottle of water in the fridge. After drinking, he gives it to Akaashi and lies down on the floor again, with his crossed legs. This position is so comfortable, he thinks.

Lying down on Kuroo is better. Kuroo likes to play with his hair.

Kenma watches Akaashi drinking by the corner of his eyes, melancholy dripping on him like a cold shower in winter.

“Make me laugh again,” Kenma says, opening his arms like he's stretching. He likes to tickle his feet against the other; he does it when a part of him is feeling anxious, most of the time over nothing. He does it now.

“Okay.” Akaashi stops to think, staring at him, but ends up laughing. “Holy shit, you're in love with Kuroo.”

Somehow, Kenma laughs too, a bit too nervously. “You're fucking crazy. That was a good one.”

“I'm serious. You're in love with him. That's why you asked that love kind of question, right?” He's trying to sound serious, but can't get it right.

“No.” He turns to the side, to hide his blushing face, to hide his laugh. “You know exactly what we are to each other.”

“But do you?”

“Stop.”

He doesn't want to talk about Kuroo, not right now, or else he's afraid he's going to slip. Even though a part of him might recognize for himself, Kenma doesn't want to make it real. And he feels he trusts Akaashi enough to actually slip, so he forces himself to not think about it; he thinks of cats and video games and how the universe is so big. He’s not talking about Kuroo.

“Alright, alright.” Akaashi licks his lips. “I wouldn't judge you. He's an asshole but he's a nice guy. And he's hot.”

Kenma widens his eyes and turns to him: “You think he's hot?”

“Don't tell him I said that, Kenma, or I swear to god I’ll punch you in the dick.”

“It's fine,” he says, and his tongue is rolling out. “He's got a hot dick too.”

Akaashi is surprised, but laughs it off. “You say that ‘cause you haven't seen Bokuto’s. And his ass…”

“Nor do I want to,” he interrupts. “Bokuto is kinda hot too, but not really my type.”

“Your type is black-haired douchebags who smirk too much and won't stop teasing everyone to save a life?”

“Evidently.” He thinks, frowning a little. “Though he would do it to save lives—”

“Fuck you!” Akaashi exclaims, smiling and pointing at him. “You do love him.”

Kenma thinks he hates Akaashi for being able to come up with such a conclusion, then groans, frustrated. “I don't know what love is.” After noticing Akaashi is about to confess how much he loves Bokuto, he doesn't really want to hear it. So he adds, “And don't want to know. Not for now. It's too complex.”

“You're right.”

“I'm always right.”

Akaashi scowls at him, frowning, thinking. He looks like he found the worst puzzle in the world in his head, and Kenma is almost sure it doesn't have to do with anything they've talked so far. It's that something that's been bothering him. Akaashi asks, “Do you think writing is hard?”

And Kenma is right.

Silent, he takes a moment to answer. He doesn't know much of it, but is confident enough to answer him.

“Of course. It doesn't matter what you're writing about, it's difficult to get words on paper. It's even more difficult trying to put your feelings into it, especially if you don't want to show your vulnerabilities and insecurities. You want to make people feel something, but won't let yourself feel anything ‘cause you're afraid, that's what I think it is. I’ve tried to write before but… It's goddamn hard, Keiji. I don't understand how you like it so much.”

“That's the whole reason why I like it, to be honest. The never-ending challenge to myself, but it doesn't make it any less difficult. It's worth it, though. The outcome, like you've told everything without needing to actually tell. Besides, I can't really do anything else. I'm not good at anything else.”

“But,” Kenma pouts again, “you're good at volleyball.”

“And so are you. Can you see yourself playing volleyball for the rest of your life?”

“No.”

“My point.” He grins.

“Thanks, Keiji. Now I’m fucking depressed.”

Akaashi shrugs, looking up, and has a loose smile on his lips. “At least I have someone I love.”

“Fine.” Kenma huffs, now paying attention to him. “Tell me what love is.”

“I don't know,” he mumbles, not hesitating. “Really, I don't. I just feel like I was wandering off a galaxy and found Bokuto. He's my star, you know? He's bright and warm, but doesn't blind you like the sun. He's always there for you, even if you don't see him around, and supports you enough that you almost believe you're as much worthy as him. Bokuto has this energy that follows him everywhere, and he's the kind of guy who won't just leave you. He's… always there. Making him smile makes me feel good. And he's just… so good. I'm not talking in a sexual sense, by the way, don't start perverting around.”

Kenma giggles. “I didn't say anything.”

“You would've. But I don't really know. To me, _he_ is love.”

The room goes silent.

“That's the sappiest shit I've heard.”

For a moment, Akaashi stops only to laugh again along with Kenma. “Me too. I can’t believe I said that.”

Kenma tilts his head. “I can.” Because Akaashi looks confused, he explains, “You’re a writer, you have to have at least some kind of connection with your feelings, like you said. You may not know what it is, but you have it anyway. And also, you do seem like a hopeless romantic. Everytime Bokuto is in a room, you can’t take your eyes off him.”

“Oh.” He blinks. “Oh, um. Yeah.”

“It must be a good feeling, I guess,” Kenma mumbles, distracted. “Because I like to convince myself it's sexual and that's all.”

He tries not to think the first time he and Kuroo kissed. Or the first time they made out. Or the first time he realized he liked doing it with Kuroo, and Kuroo only, to the point he aches for him like he's doing right now. He misses him, and his laugh and touch, and misses arguing with him like they did in school, and all the times Kuroo worried and cared about him.

It feels like a distant memory, now that they do more than make out and don't actually talk about each other's insecurities like they used to. Something has changed, Kenma knows it, and he's sure Kuroo knows it, but he also knows they're both cowards.

Kenma wants to talk to Kuroo about every little thing: his day, his nights, his dreams and nightmares, all the games he won, and wants to hear it back from him. He wants to wake up and look at his handsome face, tell him that as if he had the guts. He wants so many things, yet he’s afraid to make them real.

Reality drives him crazy. And so does Tetsurou Kuroo.

“Anyways,” Akaashi sighs, “I miss Bokuto-san.”

Kenma raises his eyebrows. “How is Bokuto any related to—oh. You're horny.”

“What?” he squeaks, sounding too desperate. “Am not.”

In a heartbeat, Kenma stops laughing and sits up, looking suspicious. “I see.” He thinks he’s being very serious and that he’s moving fast, but he crawls to Akaashi. He tilts his head like a cat, then sits on his lap. “I have an idea.”

Akaashi doesn’t seem totally uncomfortable with it, because Kenma feels his hands on his waist and his eyes peeking with curiosity above his shoulder. “Yeah?”

Biting his lip, Kenma takes his phone out of his pocket and narrows his eyes at the screen. After adjusting the brightness, he’s surprised to notice it’s been an hour since Akaashi arrived and it’s two in the morning. “Wow. Wow. Okay.”

Typing and scrolling carefully, taking more time than needed to open his messages app, Kenma opens his camera and aims it at them. It’s very evident he’s on Akaashi’s lap, but he doesn’t shift position and neither does Akaashi. They just look back at the camera and Kenma takes the photo; he’s smiling, biting a tiny part of his bottom lip, while Akaashi is plain looking provocative and hot.

“You look hot,” Kenma says out loud; it's so surprising they laugh. Again.

“Who is it for?”

Instead of replying, Kenma hands him his phone and crawls to his side, looking at his face like a spirited child. When Akaashi realizes what he’s seeing, he laughs once more. “Oh.”

* * *

**kenma**

hey, bokuto

look who’s mine now

📷 Photo

you better wake up

or you’ll lose him for good

:)

* * *

Kenma smiles, just like his text message. “I’m sure he’s not gonna be busy anymore once he looks at your face.”

“He’s gonna come here.” Akaashi widens his eyes, still laughing. “Oh, shit, he’s gonna come here.”

“No, he isn’t.” Kenma grins, then rests his back on the couch behind him. “He doesn’t know where I live.”

“You’re an asshole,” he says, giggling hard as he realizes something. “Oh, but Kuroo does know.”

Before he can process what Akaashi implied, it’s already done.

There’s a group chat, and in it there’s Kenma, Akaashi, Bokuto and Kuroo.

* * *

**kenma**

Hey, it’s Akaashi.

📷 Photo

This is what Kenma sent you, Bokuto-san.

📷 Photo

Do you have something to say, Rooster Head?

* * *

Kenma keeps looking at Akaashi blank after reading it, then bursts out a laugh. “Holy shit, I’m gonna kill you tomorrow.”

“You’re not,” he says. “If Bokuto-san is coming, so is Kuroo.”

Sighing, Kenma giggles and shakes his head. It doesn't seem serious, nor real. “You’re evil.”

“Maybe.”

Feeling relaxed as he’s never been, Kenma drops his phone on the couch and rests his head on Akaashi’s shoulder. “My head is spinning. But this shit is good.”

“It is.”

They finally stop laughing when both phones vibrate, and they know what this means. Akaashi takes his and opens the chat so Kenma can see it too.

* * *

**Bokuto-san**

WHAT!!! You guys woke me up

What are you doing at Kenma’s??? You said you were busyyyy

Akaaaaaashiiiiiiiiiii

😔😔

Why are you looking so hot??

This is unfair you know

* * *

**Kuroo**

what is this

why is kenma on your lap

kenma get out of there now

it’s contagious!

* * *

**Bokuto-san**

Hey, they’re both looking hot, bro

I just don’t wanna lose ‘Kaashi to Kenma !

He’s so pretty ! 😔

* * *

**Kuroo**

kenma is not taking your boyfriend away from you, shithead

he's got better things to do

but what is he doing at kenma’s apartment?

WHY DIDN’T YOU CALL US

* * *

**Bokuto-san** ****

YEAH

WHY DIDN’T YOU CALL US?????

KUROO SEND ME KENMA’S LOCATION I’M GOING

* * *

**Kuroo**

NO

WHAT

if you're going then i'm going fuck you

* * *

**Akaashi**

we don’t want you or need you here bye

it’s kenma btw

😛

* * *

**Bokuto-san**

KENMAAAAAAAA

GIVE MY HANDSOME MAN BACK RIGHT NOW

You’re pretty!!!!

* * *

**Akaashi**

thanks you’re pretty too

no.

* * *

**Kuroo**

kenmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

OH

HOLY FUCK YOU’RE BOTH HIGH

I KNOW YOUR EYES AND THEY’RE NOT USUALLY LIKE THIS

shit that's gay

you’re pretty

* * *

**Akaashi**

shut up you're gay

we still don’t want you here

we’re fine by ourselves and right now laughing at you

📷 Photo

* * *

**Bokuto-san**

YOU’RE HIGH??????????

I AM COMING

I WANT TO GET HIGH TOO

* * *

**Kuroo**

STOP

KENMA.

I’LL GET THERE FIRST

* * *

**Bokuto-san** ****

KUROOOOOOOOO ANSWER ME ON PRIVATE

I WANT THEIR LOCATION

* * *

Kenma is laughing even after the phone is locked. He wants to stop for the fifth time that night, but he can’t process anything that’s out of bounds. There is Kenma, there is Akaashi, and they’re laughing about something stupid they have done. Kenma doesn’t even think it’s related to Kuroo and Bokuto. He’s just enjoying his friends’ company, and the feel of the herbs hazing his thoughts.

This is his first time doing something as such, but it feels familiar. It feels good. He gets up, stumbling around his living room until he’s well rested on the floor, right by the balcony. A pleasant wind kisses his face, and he’s staring at the ceiling, moving his feet again. He’s wandering off this reality, even though there’s a soft smile on his lips and his eyes are daydreaming. Akaashi is silent too, and Kenma knows he’s thinking too. It may not seem like so to others, but Akaashi tends to drift inside his deep thoughts more than anyone Kenma knows.

Because of that, Kenma takes his mind off planets, atmosphere and gravity, and says, “Light up another one.” Once Akaashi does that, he asks, “Is your boyfriend really coming?”

It takes a moment for Akaashi to answer. He does it after a little laugh. “I’m almost certain. Bokuto-san is somewhat impulsive.”

“Wow.” Kenma raises his eyebrows. “Talk about force of will.”

“Tell me about it.” He can hear Akaashi’s grin. “Sometimes it’s hard to handle his energy.”

For a second, Kenma’s mind freezes and he lets out a low, “Oh.” It doesn’t come out the way he’s supposed to; he laughs at this, but is more nervous just to be imagining Bokuto’s actual energy aside from the one he shows to everyone around him. He _is_ an energetic person, and sometimes a little too much to Kenma, but he also makes people smile and it’s sweet.

But Kenma isn’t thinking about him being sweet. Neither is Akaashi, because he says, “Oh.”

They laugh, and Kenma goes up to Akaashi to take the joint from him. He goes back to the place he was before, inhaling softly.

“I wasn’t talking about that, but,” Akaashi continues, “it fits well.”

“Oh…” Kenma says again, and he’s just blinking, deciding whether or not to fully smile. “So are you telling me Bokuto is hard to handle because he gets too excited?”

“Yes. No.”

“Oh.”

“I mean.” Akaashi laughs. This time, it’s smirky. “He does what I want him to do, but sometimes he’s too careful, you know? And I don’t want him to be. Look at him, for fuck’s sake.”

“Oh.”

Kenma blinks once more and bursts a squeaky laugh. He’s happy he’s far from Akaashi, because Akaashi tries to get up to him, but can’t do it while he laughs too.

“Holy shit, Kenma, forget I said that.”

“No. Never.”

“Kenma!”

“You want _Bokuto-san_ to rip you apart, huh? Why don’t you tell him that?”

“I do!” Akaashi exclaims, and they start laughing again. “But he’s afraid he’ll hurt me.”

“Cute,” Kenma mumbles, grinning. He breathes out the smoke, giving the joint back to him. “So you like being hurt?”

Akaashi takes a minute to reply, lifting a brow as he inhales. “You do?”

“Yeah. But it’s way more fun to make Kuroo suffer.”

“Oh.”

They laugh again, though Kenma tries not to think that he misses Kuroo and everything about him, even if it has been two weeks. He misses not only the sex part, but the cuddles, the worries, the soft forehead kisses, his voice on calling Kenma’s name and… he sighs. This is getting very annoying.

“Yeah.”

“So you’re both into this kind of stuff?”

“You’re not?” Kenma frowns, fighting the urge to laugh. “You did say you wanted Bokuto to rip you—”

“I didn’t.”

“You did. I heard with my own two ears.”

“You heard wrong. You’re high.”

“So are you,” Kenma replies, cheeky. “It’s fine, Keiji. I’m not gonna judge you or anything.”

“I’m not afraid of being judged, you idiot.”

“Then what is it? You’re hot, Bokuto is hot. What about it?”

Akaashi goes quiet. “You think I’m hot?”

Kenma realizes his words too late, but doesn’t make any effort to take them back. He doesn’t mind. There is no filter inside him at this very moment after all, and he suspects it’s the same to Akaashi.

“Sure…?” He shrugs, taking the joint back from Akaashi with a typical high grin. “But as I said, you’re both not my type.”

“Because your type is Kuroo.”

“Shut up.”

They gradually fall into silence, succeeding their fleeting laughs. Kenma thinks, they look happy. They look relaxed, and that’s more than they could ever show on a daily basis. Not because they don’t want to, but because it’s natural and stuck to themselves.

Kenma also doesn't feel the need to show it as often as some people do. They tend to be overlooked when looking happy, and envy is such a powerful disease, just like insecurity. Bokuto himself is proof of that. That's why it took Kenma some time to grow fond of him.

He's thinking now, Bokuto always looks happy. People envy him, want to be him, want to beat him. He looks overconfident. He looks like a star, to quote Akaashi. And sometimes, stars shine too bright.

 _Am I making any sense?_ , he thinks and laughs to himself. He's so sleepy, relaxed. He's tired, but feels good. He gives the joint back to Akaashi and closes his eyes.

Looking up once he hears knocks on the door, Kenma raises his head just in time to see Kuroo and Bokuto walking in towards the apartment. About to yell—or try to—at Kuroo on how he has Kenma’s apartment keys, he remembers he's the one who gave him a copy.

Kenma sighs. It's not as impatient as he wants it to sound.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Bokuto exclaims, and this time Kenma makes it right. Bokuto laughs, though, and says, “Nice to see you too, Kenma.”

“Oh, the smell,” Kuroo notes, giggling.

Kenma mumbles something and refuses to stare at them. They're actually here. They came. They got out of their apartments, which were a couple miles from there, and are here now. Kuroo is here.

“Bokuto-san!” It's evident on Akaashi's voice how excited he is to see his boyfriend. Kenma isn't watching, but he's pretty sure Akaashi tries to get up and ends up on Bokuto’s arms _accidentally_ instead. He's laughing. “You look… bigger! Hey, give it back!”

“You look prettier,” Bokuto replies and Kenma is thankful he can't see their brief kiss. “You taste _weeder_.”

“That's not a word,” Kenma murmurs, trying not to laugh.

He can almost hear Bokuto’s sided smile. “I made it up. Now it is.”

He opens his mouth to fight him, but feels a presence on his side. There's no other way out of this except to pretend he's asleep, Kenma thinks. Then he adds, _Fuck_ , because he just said something seconds ago.

Kenma squeezes his eyes tight, but is quick to open them again as he recognizes the light finger touches on his eyelids, the tip of his nose and a little squeeze to it.

“If you get me to sneeze, I’ll throw you out of my balcony.”

“Hello, kitten,” Kuroo purrs. He has the joint on his lips and a solid smoke comes out of his mouth. “I just want to make you look at me.”

At this second, Kenma hopes to die. He was so relaxed, so sleepy, and now his heart is beating faster and he can't stop himself from looking at Kuroo.

As Kenma stares at him, the world around him feels weird. He’s aware Bokuto and Akaashi are there, and they’re talking about something. Yet all he sees is Kuroo’s face, everything else is blurred. He whispers “Shit”, giggles when Kuroo helps him sit up.

His back hurts, but he doesn’t move. He keeps looking at Kuroo, then at Bokuto and Akaashi, then at Kuroo again. “I can’t believe you two actually came.”

“Well,” Bokuto starts, sitting on the sofa right by Akaashi, who’s staring at him with bright, lovely eyes and with a little smile on his face. “We were worried! ‘Kaashi never does that, especially not alone.”

“I’m not alone,” Akaashi replies, and Kenma hums in agreement. “This is my third time. Kenma is my friend, it was alright.”

“Am I?” Kenma smirks, laughing when Akaashi narrows his eyes at him.

“Shut up.”

“And I was worried too,” Kuroo says, tickling Kenma’s hips. He moves away, taking back the joint he and Akaashi were supposed to share alone. Kuroo doesn’t protest. “You never said you wanted to try something like that.”

Kenma is looking directly at Akaashi, but says to Kuroo, “I don’t have to tell you everything.”

There is a quick pause, broken by Akaashi’s laughter. Kenma crawls to Akaashi, clenching his teeth, but Kuroo holds him to his place, while Bokuto holds Akaashi to protect him. They all laugh, except for Kenma, who is stressed on Kuroo’s lap but knows he can’t do very much. So he stays still, crossing his arms and legs, scowling at Akaashi as if he’d told them all of Kenma's secrets.

“Your angry-cat face doesn’t scare me,” Akaashi says, grinning and resting on Bokuto’s chest.

“I thought you just told us he’s your friend.” Bokuto tilts his head.

“He betrayed me,” Kenma grumbles.

“He didn’t say anything.” Bokuto’s confusion is evident, but he doesn’t explain.

Instead, Kuroo asks, “Is there anything for him to say?”

“None of your business.”

“Okay.” Kuroo surrenders and rests his hands on Kenma’s waist. “But how long have you been like this? You’re grumpy when you’re high, I guess.”

“Actually,” Akaashi interrupts, “I’ve never seen him laugh this much. It’s adorable.”

Kenma coughs a little bit of smoke and raises his eyebrows, trying hard not to laugh. “Hey, I’m not adorable. And stop being cheesy.”

Bokuto widens his huge golden eyes at Akaashi. “You’re being cheesy? Akaashi, you’re never cheesy with me.”

“Oh, trust me, he can get really—”

“Hey!” Akaashi says out loud, and this time he’s the one being held back by Bokuto. “If you don’t tell, I won’t.”

“Is that a threat?”

“You started it.”

“What?” Kenma squeaks. “No, you started when you laughed—”

“I was just trying to tease you.”

“And what do you think I’m doing?”

“Blackmailing me.”

“No, _you_ were threatening me.”

“Kenma, I swear—”

Bokuto blinks slowly. “I’ve never heard them talking this much.”

This brings Kenma’s attention. He’s now staring at Bokuto with his eyes narrowed. “Of course.” He laughs as if it's obvious. “You two are the ones talking all the time, now it’s our time.”

“He has a point,” Akaashi says.

Kuroo tries to explain. “But—”

“No, no, no! We didn’t call you here. There’s no excuse.”

“But I was worried!” Bokuto blurts.

“Worried I might steal your boyfriend?” Kenma snorts. “It was just a joke, you idiot.”

The second Kenma says this, he wants to take it back. Bokuto immediately pouts and it’s cute, he thinks, cringing to it. He lowers his head so he doesn’t see how adorable Bokuto actually is, but it doesn’t matter.

“Kyanma…” Bokuto utters.

Arms crossed on Kuroo’s lap, Kenma is aware he looks like a child. He moves his head again so he can’t really see Bokuto’s pleading, big eyes.

“Hey. Look at him,” Akaashi says. He’s sure Akaashi is grinning again, too hypnotized with Bokuto’s face.

He still doesn’t move, not until Kuroo takes his chin and makes him look at Bokuto.

Irritated, he melts right away, so unusually soft. “Fine, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to call you an idiot. That’s Kuro.”

“Hey!” Kuroo exclaims from behind, offended by Akaashi and Bokuto’s laugh.

Kenma doesn’t laugh, though. He really doesn’t want to smile too, but he does, because somehow he finds it a little bit funny due to the herb on his system. It’s a tiny smirk, ease on his lips, and he dodges Kuroo’s tickling on his waist as it becomes evident for them he’s supposedly in a good mood.

But in truth, he is not.

The biggest reason for him to have accepted Akaashi’s offer and to not have kicked him out of his apartment was Kuroo, and of course, his thoughts about him. It was bothering him to the point not even the weed could soften it whole, and Kenma is annoyed. He really is, but can’t quite show it. He’s not very good at hiding his emotions, most part of the time because he isn’t aware of which ones he’s feeling, except for when he's not feeling anything at all. Right now, as if life hated him, he’s showing the opposite of what he intends to.

This moment, Kenma feels light on Kuroo’s lap, as though if he concentrates enough he could vanish. He doesn’t like that; to feel comfortable, to be smiling, to be laughing as if the fourth of them are in some kind of double date, except for the date part. So Kenma walks towards Bokuto and Akaashi, and sits beside the latter.

He raises the joint to Bokuto after exhaling. “Kuro robbed us a little bit, so it’s fair if you do too.”

“As much as I’d like to,” he says, Akaashi’s hand stepping Bokuto’s from taking it unconsciously, “I’m driving.”

“And Kuro isn’t?”

“No, he came with me. He said he’s going to sleep here.”

Kenma’s face turns into shock, and he looks at a smiling Kuroo. He’s half lying down, half sit on the floor, being as handsome as he can be. Kenma is mad at him. Even though he’s almost smiling too, he’s mad, because Kuroo had no right to impose something like that as if they’re boyfriends or what else.

“I didn’t say you could.” Sighing, Kenma rests his leg on Akaashi’s and inhales the joint a little more. He’s finding it funny now. Kuroo stiffens and has his eyes on their tangled legs. “Akaashi is the one sleeping here.”

Kuroo frowns. “But Kenma—”

“You can have the couch, if you want to.”

“Kenma,” Akaashi says. He looks like he’s about to cry. “You had the rest of it.” He's talking about the weed. 

Raising his eyebrows in surprise, Kenma takes Akaashi by his chin and, coming closer, he releases all of the smoke he’s been holding and is satisfied to see Akaashi inhale without hesitating. He’s never done that before, he’s only _seen_ people do it, but is quite proud they managed to do it right.

“Now you had the rest of it.”

He becomes aware of how close he is to Akaashi. By the corner of his eye, he can see and feel the heavy aura coming from Kuroo. He can’t think properly; neither he nor Akaashi has moved, so he instantly looks at Bokuto, then Akaashi, then Bokuto again.

“Can I do it?” he mumbles to them both; it’s obvious what he wants to do. He’s sure they’re going to deny it, so he sustains the moment for as long as he can.

Kenma doesn’t know exactly how, but he only hears a quiet nodding murmur coming from Bokuto, and then Akaashi’s hand separates from Bokuto’s for him to take Kenma by his face. He only sees Bokuto’s wide, excited eyes and Akaashi’s grin before he pulls him into a kiss.

He has soft lips and it’s a good kiss, but it’s not Kuroo. Kenma hates to be thinking about that, when the major reason for him to ask such a thing was to annoy Kuroo, aside, of course, from being curious too of what it would be like to kiss Akaashi. But since Bokuto allowed it, he enjoys it while he can—which isn’t long, because he starts to feel bad and hears Kuroo’s movement from behind him.

Pulling back, Kenma firstly stares at Bokuto, who’s paying attention as if that was some kind of secret. He backs down when sees Kenma looking at him, and Kenma can’t help but laugh. Akaashi is laughing too. He laughs harder once he lays his eyes on a spot behind them. Kenma knows it’s Kuroo, so he tries not to look back, but does it anyway.

Kuroo is on the balcony, still sitting on the floor, but looking rather melancholic.

He feels worse. He knows Kuroo can tell something is wrong, but Kuroo doesn’t say anything about it and neither does Kenma.

“That was for free, wasn’t it?” Kuroo says instead.

Akaashi narrows his eyes and replies very carefully, “We may never be as bad as how mother nature was to you, Kuroo.”

It takes a second for them to process exactly what Akaashi said, and first it’s Kenma. He raises his eyebrows slowly, then hides half of his face with his hand so they can’t see how hard he’s trying not to giggle. Bokuto comes second, and he drops his jaw in the middle of a smile, bursting a laugh now and then, looking back at Akaashi and Kuroo, as if this was an actual fight.

Then Kuroo stares at Akaashi blankly, as if he’s misheard and is trying to find out what he meant to say. He’s speechless for a minute. They’re all already laughing when he scoffs, “Was that supposed to hurt? Try harder.”

“Oh, you’re low on insults. I wonder what happened,” Akaashi mutters.

“Huh?”

Kenma’s smile dies from his face, and instead of fun, he feels warmth on his cheeks, something he doesn't want to acknowledge. He's observing Bokuto now, who looks like he’s thinking about something.

It's annoying. Not because Bokuto is actually thinking and Kenma's somewhat hypnotized by his glowing golden orbs, airy at some point on the ground, but because he can't focus on Akaashi and Kuroo's silly argument they always have, which doesn't fail at making him laugh.

He drifts off his unwanted hypnosis when Akaashi pokes him on the arm.

“You’re a good kisser for a stupid little shit,” Akaashi says, smirking, and is surprised once he realizes what he's said. “Oh my god, why did I say that?”

Kenma looks back at him and laughs, kicking him. “So are you, scumbag.”

“That was cool!” Bokuto exclaims suddenly, then adds, looking very serious, “but he’s mine.”

“All yours.”

“Okay.” Blinking like an innocent child who just has gotten what he wants, he smiles. “So, can I talk about my week?”

Kenma groans loudly, and it’s clear he doesn’t want to hear it as much as Akaashi, who says, “Of course.”

“Go to my room,” Kenma tells them, then corrects, “No, don’t go anywhere near my room. Go to my roommate’s.”

They follow Kenma’s instructions, and he spies to make sure they got it right. Assured they’re not in his room, Kenma sighs, tired and a bit humorous. He stares at his big TV, sees Kuroo’s reflection in it. He doesn’t want to go, but he gets up and crawls to where Kuroo is sitting.

 _I don’t want to, I don’t want to,_ he thinks, but he’s in front of Kuroo now, in between his long legs. Kuroo is observing the night sky, is obviously ignoring Kenma’s presence, and it's suffocating.

Kenma feels groggy, as if he doesn't have control of his own body and thoughts. He breathes, knowing he can’t help but look at Kuroo… he hates his stupid face. Hates that Bokuto and Akaashi turned off the lights for whatever reason, and that his brown eyes are gleaming even in the dark. Hates that he knows every detail to it, that his stupid hair covers half of it. _He’s stupid_ , Kenma thinks, _I hate him_.

Kenma blinks. _I don’t._

The atmosphere changes. It's odd, it's silent, it's somewhere between comfortable and tensioned.

He’s moving his feet together, anxious, and can’t take his eyes off Kuroo. He says, “I’m sorry.”

This gets Kuroo’s attention. “You’re sorry?”

“Don’t make me say it again,” he mutters, clearing his throat.

Kuroo's smell is so good.

“But it’s my fault, isn’t it? You’re distant and acting strange. I don’t know what I did, but I know I must have done something.”

“What?” Kenma laughs. He tries to get serious, but he continues, and it sounds more incredulous than funny, “No. No, no. No. I’m the one to blame, Kuro.”

“Blame for what?”

“For falling in love with you.” He widens his eyes, still laughing, and can’t stop himself again. “Jesus, fuck, okay. That was not what I wanted to say, but I did and can’t take it back. I’m not saying that again, just so you know. It’s weird, it’s gross. I keep telling myself to step back, but I can’t. I can’t stay away from you, I can’t stop thinking about you, I feel like I might die just being around you. Yet _I want to_ be around you. And I know that’s not a best friend thing, Kuro, I have been telling myself that for quite some time now, and it’s not.

“I feel stupid I got to the point of doing something like that just to make you jealous, that was so childish and stupid of me, and truly, I’m embarrased. We’re just…” He laughs, desperate. “I only made you uncomfortable. I hope you can forgive me for saying all this stupid, sappy things, and that’s a good fucking karma for having laughed about it from Akaashi earlier. Holy shit.”

Kenma presses his lips tightly together, forcing not to laugh again. He wants to make sure he’s being honest, and for that, he has to move his eyes from Kuroo and stare at the floor. He keeps staring until it’s been quiet for too long, so he does the most mature thing he has ever done: he runs to his room. He tries to, at least.

There’s no way he can fight Kuroo’s strong arms, so he lets him pull him close. Kenma’s still between his legs, and Kuroo is between him now too. They’re observing each other; Kenma hates that he’s blushing and wants to laugh again, so he’s thankful to see Kuroo smile.

“For someone so analytical, you’re so stupid with feelings. I’m not judging, it took me some time to realize I was in love with you.” Kuroo sighs, like a weight has eased off his shoulders. “I have been since high school, Kenma.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.” Kuroo smirks, looking a bit snobby. “I've thought about it. We’re not _just best friends_ , not even fuck buddies or whatever, not to me. I didn’t say anything before because I didn’t want to scare you, or push you away. But now it's just… unavoidable, I guess. That's on you, kitten.”

 _He's thought about it_ , is the only thing Kenma thinks. It sounds unreal.

“So you love me?”

“I do.”

He doesn’t intend to ask, but it slips from him, “Why?”

Kuroo looks surprised, somehow confused at this. He holds Kenma’s face with his hands, touching so carefully Kenma wants to melt and die in his arms; it feels so comfortable now, so familiar.

“I’ve listed every little thing I like about you in my notebook, Kenma. I can show you if you want to.”

“No.” He sticks out his tongue. “Ew.”

“Okay, so I’m going to tell you I love you because you’re straight up the first and only person ever who made me feel like I belonged somewhere. Or to someone, for that matter. I love the way you think and the way you talk, I love your pretty face and how cute you look when you just finish off a game. I love you because you're smart and funny when you feel comfortable. To sum it up and not get _real_ sappy, I love everything about you, Kenma. Even your flaws and you're being moody as fuck.”

“Ew.”

“I know, right?” Kuroo grins. “And you don't have to apologize for kissing Akaashi.”

Kenma sighs, pressing his lips together to sound serious. “But I did it to make you jealous. That's childish and I don't want to feel like that again.”

He's surprised to feel Kuroo's fingers touch his lips and then feel Kuroo's lips on his own. It’s still the best thing he's ever experienced. He feels numb and wants to be touched everywhere, wants to be with him every single day, wants to wake up beside him and wear his big shirts that smell like him. He wants Kuroo more than he ever wanted to win a game, and that makes him nauseous and the best he ever felt at the same time.

Kuroo gives him a peck, a little breathless. “I'm sorry for what you felt like and for whatever reasons you had to do it, but it didn't make me jealous.”

“Ah,” Kenma hums, nodding, all the laughter and fun dying inside of him. “But you said… Uh…” He tries to move away from Kuroo again, but Kuroo holds him in his place.

“It didn't make me jealous because it was _hot_ , Kenma. What made me jealous was knowing you laughed with him. You barely laugh.”

“But I did a moment ago.”

“I know. It's my favourite sound.”

Kenma looks at him and his evident smirk; he likes it so much it's unreal. For that, for his words, Kenma is blushing.

“I hate you.”

“You don't.”

“I do.”

Kuroo leans in, purring and closing his eyes. “You don't.”

“I don't,” Kenma whispers.

He doesn't. In fact, Kenma thinks, he loves Kuroo. And for the first time, Kenma doesn't feel bad about it, because he loves him back.

He may be high, but he's sure about this one thing.

Kuroo loves him back.

**Author's Note:**

> hi hope this was good enough i'm super insecure abt posting hq content ;/
> 
> happy bday keiji !!!!!!!! <3


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